Oh geese since I have to leave for work in twenty minutes I'll do a short form update in bullet points really quick
December 2010: met a boy, skinny little emo kid named branden, started dating. Decided I didn't really like him after all on new years eve, he tried to kiss me and I refused and that led to him stalking me for three months and not stopping until the police paid a nice visit to his house.
February 2011: Hospitalized for anorexia
March/April 2011: started seeing this guy named kyle who was batshit crazy, he was letting a random homeless dude who stole from him sleep on his couch and kyle would tell me stories about how his dad abused him, while laughing with this crazy look on his face. felt super uneasy whenever i was alone with him, decided it was a good idea not to see him anymore (he was my ex coworker and my coworkers and boss all warned me not to see him, but i didn't listen and should've!) he disappeared shortly after and no one has ever heard from him again. i still wonder if he's okay from time to time.
Summer 2011: started seeing this guy named justin. he was obsessed with sex and really creepy and thank god i never slept with him
September 2011: starting seeing a guy named reid. really liked him but he put his band and skateboarding and his job and his family before me, never made time to see me and would turn down anytime i said i'd drive out to see him. he was a virgin and wanted to lose it to me but i eventually got fed up with being fucked around and stopped talking to him.
Fall 2011: started hanging out with branden again, secretly. thought he had changed. began a friends with benefits relationship while i developed a crush on his best friend/housemate. started sneaking around, not coming home, doing lots of drugs and not really eating again. this lasted until new years day when i kissed him goodbye in a starbucks parking lot, deleted his number from my phone, and never talked to him again.
New years day 2012: Met roger. Spent a whirlwind two weeks completely head over heels for him. making out in my driveway until four in the morning, driving around in the middle of the night to the beach and vancouver and deserted roads...one day he suddenly stopped talking to me, would barely answer my texts claiming he was busy but i knew he was avoiding me, took a hard hit on my heart and ego and i was really really depressed
late january 2012: went out with a guy i had met through my ex, named corey. went to his house alone late one night where he forced me to have sex with him even after i said no (but i should've been more persistent, i kind of just gave in) woke up the next morning in his bed and decided i didn't wanna be the kind of person who had one night stands so i agreed when he asked me to be his girlfriend. starting spending every night there, while he forced me to have sex when i didn't want to, would scream at me and make me cry, and would hold me down so forcefully on the bed or against the wall that i would have bruises which my mom noticed and told me i needed to get out. i was insecure and felt like i needed him so i held on way too long when i shouldn't have.
Valentine's day 2012: my online friend tracy came out to visit me. she is my absolutel bust friend in the
world and this meant the world to me. She knew i was in a bad place and needed help, so one day she just booked the ticket and flew out.
Early March 2012: broke up with corey finally. never felt so happy and free in my life. Joined plenty of fish, a dating site, as an option but didn't use it too seriously.
Late March 2012: Met Jesse. Went on an amazing first date where we were both so awkward but in a cute way. Played mini golf and when I dropped him off at his car (I made him let me drive) he told me he liked me a lot and wanted to see me again. We decided to go to the movies on tuesday and I went home and jumped on the trampoline for half an hour smiling my face off. I was so into this guy and I so thought he was too good for me, but for some reason he liked me.
March 31, 2012: Jesse asked me to be his girlfriend, after telling me he had alopecia and finally taking his hat off. I said yes and was crazy for him.
April-September 2012: Spent every weekend and holiday at Jesse's, falling more and more in love. Made a whole bunch of friends, went on a twelve day camping trip with him and his cousin and friends.
September 15th, 2012: We moved in together and I have never been happier than I am now.
At this point we've moved again into a little bit of a bigger place. We both know we're going to marry eachother and at this point we have never been angry with eachother, fought or said anything bad to the other. He makes me feel so loved and cared for and I don't know how I got so lucky, but all I can say is, reading back in this journal, thank god I held on and made it through all the shit that was thrown at me. I'm a stronger person because of it, and now a very strong optimist and happy girl. My life is amazing because I've made it that way, and I'm so proud of how far I've come.